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please dont foster my mind…. im already doing it myself :)
April 12, 2012
im just here to vent. thats all im here for- judge me or not; i dot know any of you so i wont give two shits.
i just got a lecture about my ED, and how its mot healthy. ive lost about 10 lbs so far by ‘drowning’ myself in 20 bottles of water in 3 days. im obese(fat); i know it and im aware of it. im sick of goig shopping and having demanding of ‘suck in…’ for 18 years of my life—- it gets pretty fucking annoying. im losing it by one way. purging. im happy with it but no so much others. i recently had someone off of my twitter call into my school and complain “theyre worried about me.”. fuck you. you shouldnt go around saying shit to the school. you know my name- not my story. you only knowe from one view- youre not aroud me 24/7. if you want to know something- id appreciate it a hell of a lot more by asking me face to face than callig into my goddamn school. ive been bulimic ever since i felt ugly….. which was wayy back in the middle school…. how the hell are you just mow finding this out? its my way to lose weight and release all the pain im going through.
Im not a really of a nice person. i go anti-social path. i dont fit in (thank god!), im a total outcast you wouldnt ever believe it, i think in psychopath/killer mode; only because im open minded. im not afraid to say whats on my mind. im very negative- but my sketches i draw when im bored tell alot. they tell stories…isnt that what art is supposed to do? i complain, im a whuss at some things, i vent ALOT, i sin all the time, im proud of everythnig ive done in my life…… well… not everything but just about everything. (i should make this a book! lol). Im trying to find myself… corny i know. but its the truth. i dont know who i am in a sense of personality, dress, gender. it goes on.
Go ahead amd judge….but just remember: calling someone ugly doesnt make you beautiful, calling someone fat doesnt make you skinny, making fun of them doesnt make you any better. He’s watching….and he KNOWS who will live in heaven….. and who will die in hell.
Goodnight- its nearly 12:15 am already…. imma go tell stories through sketches. Have a wonderful night…. sweet dreams.
im mean. to my parents. to be honest- i dont even know how to be nice to them. i dont. i try and i fail everytime. im just. failure.
iwishiactually had a sister, i miss my memories and olde best friends, i actually just really fucking miss my sister, i wish i never turned 18, i wish i was still a kid, all i ever wanted was to feel and be loved, i want to know what its like to have that special person in your life, i NEVER had a true friend, i say i dont care what people say about me but deep deep down i do, i get jusged 24/7, ithink in the thoughts of a killer, im a psychoath at times, im not like others. If i told you all my secrets and thoughts; you wouldnt see or think of me as the same ever again.
if anyone has Pinterest—-please follow me!! (Morgan Victoria)
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